DIETER BRAVO AND THE FARTING GHOSTS OF SALEM
A Very Haunted, Very Ridiculous Halloween Adventure Starring Pedro Pascal’s Dieter Bravo
What happens when Dieter Bravo visits one of America's most famously haunted cities? Apparently, a supernatural investigation that nobody asked for.
In honor of Halloween, The Pascal Pulse brings you a ridiculous little adventure inspired by Pedro Pascal's wonderfully chaotic character Dieter Bravo from Judd Apatow's Netflix comedy The Bubble. Armed with questionable instincts, a flair for the dramatic, and absolutely no experience dealing with the paranormal, Dieter explores the historic streets of Salem, Massachusetts, where an unfortunate encounter in a magic shop leads to the haunting of a lifetime.
The inspiration? Pedro's photoshoot for Flaunt Magazine, which gave us some serious Dieter Bravo energy. Naturally, we had to put that to good use!
And since Mel grew up in Salem, she couldn't resist sending Dieter on an adventure through some of the city's most recognizable landmarks. Consider this our little Halloween treat to the fandom, with plenty of Salem history, Dieter-sized drama, and some truly unfortunate sound effects.
Settle in, swipe through all 20 pages, and enjoy Dieter Bravo and the Farting Ghosts of Salem! For the full spooky experience, click the music button on the side and let the haunting begin!
And remember, not every mysterious noise is supernatural.
Read the Complete Story
For readers who prefer a text version, the complete story is available below.
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![Halloween-themed fan-fiction cover featuring Pedro Pascal as Dieter Bravo walking through autumn foliage in Salem, Massachusetts, with the title “Dieter Bravo and the Farting Ghosts of Salem.”]()
Dieter Bravo visits Salem for a quiet afternoon and ends up investigating a supernatural mystery that absolutely nobody asked him to solve.
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![Pedro Pascal as Dieter Bravo in a blue leather jacket on a historic Salem, Massachusetts, street. Fan-fiction artwork introduces his unexpected encounter with flatulent ghosts.]()
Page 2: All Dieter wanted was coffee, a few dramatic photos, and maybe a velvet cape. Unfortunately, Salem had other plans.
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![Pedro Pascal as Dieter Bravo inside a dimly lit Salem magic shop filled with herbs, crystals, candles, and mystical decorations in a supernatural Halloween fan story.]()
Page 3: One accidentally overturned shelf, three mysterious jars, and a shopkeeper's ominous warning. Dieter's relaxing afternoon is officially over.
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![Close-up of Pedro Pascal portraying Dieter Bravo in a Salem magic shop, surrounded by shelves of herbs and mystical supplies as he realizes he may have been cursed.]()
Page 4: Dieter knows how these things work. He's seen the movies, and he's fairly certain he has just made a terrible mistake.
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![Pedro Pascal as Dieter Bravo looking over his shoulder on an autumn street in Salem, Massachusetts, after hearing a mysterious noise in a humorous Halloween ghost story.]()
Page 5: A strange noise follows Dieter through the streets of Salem. He turns around, but there's nobody there.
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![Pedro Pascal as Dieter Bravo looking suspiciously behind him beneath colorful autumn trees in downtown Salem as an unseen ghost continues to follow him.]()
Page 6: The mysterious noise won't stop. Dieter reaches the only logical conclusion: he's being haunted by a ghost with serious digestive issues.
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![The Salem Witch Museum in Salem, Massachusetts, featuring its historic stone exterior, Gothic windows, and red stained glass in a Halloween story starring Dieter Bravo.]()
Page 7: Hoping to escape his invisible companion, Dieter ducks into the Salem Witch Museum. Surely he'll be safe surrounded by other tourists. Right?
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![Pedro Pascal as Dieter Bravo alongside a Salem Witch Museum display depicting Giles Corey and the heavy stones used during the Salem witch trials, in a humorous supernatural story.]()
Page 8: The story of Giles Corey takes an unexpected turn when Dieter's mysterious ghost interrupts the presentation. Even Dieter knows the timing is terrible.
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![Pedro Pascal as Dieter Bravo seated among visitors inside a darkened Salem Witch Museum presentation room, above an illuminated red circle displaying names from the Salem witch trials.]()
Page 9: Another mysterious noise, another illuminated display, and one increasingly horrified Dieter. He's beginning to suspect the entire museum is haunted.
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![Pedro Pascal as Dieter Bravo looking over his shoulder at Salem Common in Massachusetts, with the park's historic gazebo, autumn trees, and a lamppost behind him.]()
Page 10: Dieter flees to Salem Common, but the ghost follows. His increasingly desperate attempts to make it stop are attracting some very concerned looks from tourists.
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![Pedro Pascal as Dieter Bravo standing outside the Witch Dungeon Museum in Salem, Massachusetts, in a humorous Halloween fan-fiction story about a mysterious ghost.]()
Page 11: Desperate for proof that he's being haunted, Dieter joins a Salem ghost tour. The Witch Dungeon Museum seems like the perfect place to investigate his unwanted supernatural companion.
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![Pedro Pascal portraying Dieter Bravo inside the Witch Dungeon Museum in Salem, surrounded by dark stone walls and historical displays during a supernatural ghost tour.]()
Page 12: Dieter insists a hostile spirit is following him, but his fellow tourists have a slightly different explanation for the mysterious noises.
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![Pedro Pascal as Dieter Bravo looking down anxiously in a historic Salem cemetery, surrounded by old gravestones and a white wooden building in a Halloween fan-fiction illustration.]()
Page 13: Surrounded by historic graves, Dieter begins apologizing to the dead and reconsidering his entire film career. Unfortunately, he also has a much more immediate problem.
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![Pedro Pascal as Dieter Bravo standing inside a dimly lit, graffiti-covered public restroom at Salem's Witch City Mall, looking uneasy in a comedic Halloween ghost story.]()
Page 14: Dieter finds himself in a questionable restroom at Witch City Mall. Between the flickering lights and unsettling atmosphere, he's convinced he's walked straight into a horror movie.
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![Pedro Pascal portraying Dieter Bravo in a run-down Salem public bathroom with graffiti-covered walls, restroom stalls, and urinals during a humorous supernatural encounter.]()
Page 15: An unexplained noise from beneath the bathroom stall sends Dieter running for his life. Forget the curse. This haunting has officially become personal.
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![Pedro Pascal as Dieter Bravo looking over his shoulder in Salem Common, Massachusetts, with large trees, an open grassy park, and a historic streetlamp behind him.]()
Page 16: Dieter makes a desperate dash across Salem Common toward the Hawthorne Hotel. Unfortunately, his invisible pursuer seems determined to keep up.
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![Pedro Pascal as Dieter Bravo inside the warmly lit lobby of the historic Hawthorne Hotel in Salem, Massachusetts, seeking refuge from a mysterious supernatural presence.]()
Page 17: Exhausted and thoroughly traumatized, Dieter seeks refuge at the historic Hawthorne Hotel. His one request? A room with absolutely no history of hauntings.
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![Pedro Pascal portraying Dieter Bravo inside the Hawthorne Hotel lobby in Salem, recounting his encounters with a mysterious curse, ghostly noises, and a supposedly haunted bathroom.]()
Page 18: Dieter finally tells someone everything, complete with dramatic reenactments, supernatural theories, and enough emotional commitment to deserve another Oscar. Then the hotel employee notices something.
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![Pedro Pascal as Dieter Bravo crouching inside the Hawthorne Hotel lobby in Salem as the Halloween story reveals that a loose sneaker sole caused the mysterious noises.]()
Page 19: The truth finally comes out. There was no ghost, no curse, and no supernatural conspiracy. Just one very unfortunate sneaker. Dieter is relieved, although perhaps a little disappointed.
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![Pedro Pascal as Dieter Bravo wearing a dramatic flowing black velvet cape outside Crow Haven Corner in Salem, Massachusetts, in the final scene of a humorous Halloween fan-fiction story.]()
Page 20: Dieter leaves Salem with a magnificent velvet cape, several protective crystals, and inspiration for his next screenplay. The mystery is solved... or is it?
DIETER BRAVO AND THE FARTING GHOSTS OF SALEM
A completely true supernatural investigation. According to Dieter Bravo.
Read the Complete Story
For readers who prefer a text version, the complete story is available below.
Page 1
Dieter Bravo and the Farting Ghosts of Salem
A completely true supernatural investigation.
According to Dieter Bravo.
Page 2
Dieter came to Salem for one quiet afternoon.
He wanted coffee, a few dramatic photos, and possibly a velvet cape.
He did not expect to be followed by the dead.
Especially not dead people with digestive problems.
Page 3
It started inside a tiny magic shop downtown.
Dieter reached for a crystal labeled Protection from Negative Energy and knocked three jars off the shelf.
Sage, rosemary, and something called “Graveyard Dust” spilled together on the floor.
The woman behind the counter stared at him.
“Oh,” she said. “That’s unfortunate.”
Page 4
“What does that mean?” Dieter asked.
The woman slowly swept up the herbs.
“It means you should watch what you’re doing.”
But Dieter knew better.
He had seen the movies!
HE HAD DEFINITELY BEEN CURSED.
Page 5
The moment he stepped outside, he heard it.
Pfffft.
Dieter stopped walking.
He turned around.
No one was there.
“Hello?”
Page 6
He took another step.
Pfffft.
Another.
Pfffft.
Dieter pulled his coat tightly around himself.
A ghost was following him.
And apparently, the ghost had eaten something terrible.
Page 7
Dieter hurried into the Salem Witch Museum, believing he would be safer in a crowded room.
The lights went dark. Wax figures appeared around him one by one as a voice began telling the story of the Salem witch trials.
Dieter immediately regretted every decision that had brought him there.
Page 8
Then the scene of Giles Corey lit up.
The voice described the heavy stones being piled onto his chest.
“More weight,” Giles Corey demanded.
Dieter shifted his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other.
Pfffft.
He froze, then slowly leaned toward the wax figure.
“Well... that is a lot of pressure.” He nodded sympathetically. “Honestly, I’m surprised that’s all that came out.”
The crowd silently parted around Dieter, leaving him standing alone in the middle of the circle.
Dieter looked around.
“What? Clearly it was him.”
He glanced nervously over his shoulder.
“...Or was it?”
Page 9
The lights went dark again.
Pfffft.
Dieter gasped.
The next wax figure lit up.
Pfffft.
“Oh my God,” Dieter whispered. “They’re all doing it.”
A child behind him started laughing.
Page 10
When the presentation ended, Dieter ran outside.
He crossed the street toward Salem Common, but the ghost followed.
Pfffft. Pfffft. Pfffft.
“Stop farting near me!” he shouted.
Several tourists turned to look at him.
One woman quietly moved her stroller farther away.
Page 11
Dieter decided he needed proof.
He joined a walking tour and stayed close to the guide.
At the Witch Dungeon Museum, the guide explained that the building was believed to contain intense spiritual energy.
Right on cue:
Pfffft.
Dieter pointed into the darkness.
“See? Hostile entity.”
Page 12
“That sounded like it came from you,” another tourist said.
“It did not.”
Dieter took a step.
Pfffft.
The group stared at him.
“The ghost is standing very close to me,” he explained.
No one looked convinced.
Page 13
By the time the walking tour reached the old cemetery, Dieter was sweating.
He had apologized to several graves.
He had promised never to make another bad movie.
He had also promised to make three excellent movies, although he admitted that part might be outside his control.
Then he realized he desperately needed to pee.
Page 14
The only available bathroom was inside the Witch City Mall.
The hallway was dim. The bathroom smelled cursed even before he opened the door.
One light flickered above a row of questionable sinks.
“This,” Dieter whispered, “is where people die.”
Page 15
He entered a stall. Something dripped in the distance.
A hand dryer turned on by itself.
Then, from beneath him:
PFFFFFFFFT.
Dieter screamed, pulled up his pants, and ran out without washing his hands.
The ghost had crossed a boundary.
Page 16
He sprinted across Salem Common toward the Hawthorne Hotel.
Pfffft. Pfffft. Pfffft.
The faster he ran, the faster the ghost farted.
“Why are you so gassy?” Dieter yelled over his shoulder.
A man walking his dog answered, “Excuse me?”
Page 17
Dieter burst into the Hawthorne Hotel lobby and collapsed against the front desk.
“I need a room,” he said. “Preferably one that has never experienced death.”
The employee looked at him.
“This hotel opened in 1925.”
Dieter stared at them.
“So... that’s a no, then?”
Page 18
Dieter explained everything.
The magic shop.
The mixed herbs.
The curse.
His dramatic reenactment of Giles Corey crying, “More weight! More weight!” with enough emotional commitment to earn Dieter another Oscar.
The haunted bathroom, where a spirit may have seen far too much of him and could now be in possession of his genetic material.
And the invisible ghost that had spent the entire afternoon farting beside him.
The employee slowly looked down at Dieter’s feet.
“Sir, could you lift your left shoe?”
Dieter moved his foot.
Pfffft.
Page 19
The employee pressed the loose sole of Dieter’s sneaker.
Pfffft.
They pressed it again.
Pfffft.
There was no farting ghost.
No curse.
Just one badly made sneaker.
Dieter looked relieved, then slightly disappointed.
“So none of it was supernatural?”
“No.”
“Not even the bathroom?”
“Especially not the bathroom.”
Dieter removed the sneaker and held it at arm’s length.
“I still don’t trust it.”
Page 20
The next morning, Dieter left Salem wearing a magnificent black velvet cape he had purchased from the magic shop.
He had also bought three protective crystals, two bundles of sage, and a small bottle labeled:
SPIRITUAL GAS RELIEF
Under one arm, he carried a notebook filled with ideas for his new screenplay:
The Farting Ghosts of Salem
A dark, sensual supernatural thriller about a misunderstood actor, a powerful curse, and several spirits with unfinished digestive business.
Dieter smiled as the cape billowed dramatically behind him.
Then he took one final step.
Pfffft.
He stopped. Looked back at the shop.
And kept walking.
THE END
Photo Credits
Pedro Pascal photographs: Christopher Schoonover for Flaunt Magazine.
Styling: Chloe Hartstein.
Salem, Massachusetts photographs: Credit to their respective owners.
Photo edits and creative design: The Pascal Pulse.
All photographs remain the property of their respective photographers and copyright holders. This is an independent, fan-made project created for entertainment purposes.